100 Days of Prayer

I have not forgotten you
even though the sun is going down.
It is sometimes at this point of the day
that I have more clarity and vision.
You seem so much simpler now
so much more in control of the world.
Maybe it is the end of a day that
brings me assurance that you
are the one who put everything
in its place for a purpose.

Brian Merritt

Back home this chair feels so right.

You have given me so much

and in return I praise you.

How can I open my eyes

and miss the glory of your creation?

When the smells enter my nostrils

they remind me of the divine.

I hear the wind singing

and the rush of your spirit

amongst the trees.  

Glory, Glory, Glory

to your name be praise.

Brian Merritt

Getting everything done is hard,
anxiety, stress and fear
are my companion.
Give me peace in preparing
give me patience with others,
give me grace to live in the moment.

Brian Merritt

I had a dream last night
that I was a janitor
at a ministry for the poor.
I was so content and happy.
What does this mean?

Brian Merritt

I can be so uncharitable,
my tongue and writing
can cut and slice.
Help me to be humble
and turn toward a softer word.

Brian Merritt

Why am I so absent minded,
my memory so fleeting?
Sometimes I merely wish for clarity
to remember the last place
that I put my keys.

So much fun that I am exhausted.
Nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles
we have cooked and entertained
until we can no longer move.
Give everyone safe journeys
and good memories of their time
amongst us in our home.

Brian Merritt

With everyone in the room
there is a content silence.
We are all shaking off the sleep
from last night’s slumber.
There is an air of expectation
for the activities of today.
Give us peace and joy
in the fellowship of each other.

Brian Merritt

I hate my body
too fat, achey, slow.
You love my body
because you created
every single cell.
I am sorry that I dislike
something so precious to you.

Brian Merritt

…..

I address the unaddressable in an attempt to embrace peace that eludes me. 

Can a sigh be a prayer?  If it can then, “sigh.”

I would like to believe that this means that or that means this.  If confusion is a prayer then I am Jesus the Christ.

I would like to make sense of it all and have all of it make sense.  I wonder if expectations lead to anything productive.  Yet, I worry that if I have no expectations that I have no faith.

I would like to understand the purpose of my life and have my purpose be understood.  If there was a secret then I either missed it or I was not paying attention.  I wonder if you could whisper the secret to me again.  This time I will pay attention.

When I was younger I tried real hard to “be” big.  Now that I am big I fight the urge to be younger.  When I was playing make believe with the little playhouse and the fake wife I never really knew what the responsibility means.  When I am living in the house with my beautiful wife I fear that I will never live up to the responsibilities.

I try not to think about my prayer life at times cause it scares me.  When dealing with the source of life, the Creator of all that is, can I really encounter you?  Is it even possible to breath in your breath?  How dare I attempt to utter you name or even gesture towards the glory you are.

When I sleep at night I tremble at the thought of losing all that I know.  Yet, I am sort of excited to see what else is out there.  I wonder if I wonder too much.

I open my heart, my mind to you [as if I need to do anything to be in your presence] as I try to do the right things to evoke a magic trick and be blessed with peace.  I wonder if I even understand what I am asking for or if I am ever ready to receive the blessing to which I ask.

Beloved God I “sigh” you accept these rambles as my hope for this day.

Ryan Kemp-Pappan

Why am I always in Kindergarden?
I think I have progressed a step
and I find myself back where I started.
Is there some Kung Fu Zenish principle
that I am missing in life?
I want growth, but it seems
that I am stunted.

Brian Merritt